Darkest Days

Here we go again, a downward spiral

Who am I to fight the gravity

Cannot comprehend, you’re in denial

I am at loss with my sanity


Put my foot down, my final stand

Footing lost on a sloping plane

Nothing to stop me from falling

Nothing left for me to gain


The world is only an illusion

It still is much too real for me

Darkest days are no delusion

Just dark without a light to see


Darkest days – Everyone the same

Darkest days – The survival game


Routines that give me pressure

Routines that cause me pain

Safety built in between them

The insurance to keep me sane


Contradiction, science fiction

Facts for my tortured mind

Whose life it is I am living

Am I not one of the kind


Picturing a different world

Drowning myself to the yellow sea

When thoughts can no longer bear

A monster that used to be me


The world is only an illusion

It still is much too real for me

Darkest days are no delusion

Just dark without a light to see


Darkest days – Everyone the same

Darkest days – The survival game


Mountains of false hopes

Climbed them in the hope of understanding

Oceans filled with liquid dreams

Sailed them in fear of a new awakening


And then came the morning

Falling down all over again

Sense of purpose yet to be found

Hammers at work in my brain


Counting seconds down to nothing

How much more I can endure

Nothing really matters anymore

Death is the only cure


Darkest days

Darkest days

Darkest days

Darkest days

Lyric by Jari Hämynen

Forgive Me

Darkest Days released

First post about Darkest Days was in 13.12.2012 so it’s about a year I started (officially) making this book. One year was a good time frame for the project like this. There was enough time for everything and I didn’t feel too busy. This time my friend Jari Hämynen wrote the lyric. That was great since I rather use my time making pictures and his writings are far better than mine.

And always remember that no matter how dark the day feels there is always hope.

Book: PDF & Other options.

Darkest Days-cover


I made a big mistake. When testing lights and adjusting settings I accidentally turned exposure time from 1/160s to bulb (I have set 1/160s to flash sync time so it’s only one click away). I used radio remote and exposures where around 1/4s. This was enough to add light to left cheek with a yellow cast. I guess I was lucky since after turning it green with Hue/Saturation adjustment layer it actually looks quite nice. We did cross continent North America Tour in ’98 and I only had small film camera with me then. When post processing I thought that I’ll include some old memories to this picture. That Manhattan silhouette is taken from the ferry between Manhattan and Staten island and joker card in my hand is from the deck I bought at the same trip when we were in Las Vegas and stayed in the Golden Gate hotel.

Terminal Velocity II

I was not happy with the ‘Terminal Velocity’ picture for the ‘Darkest Days’ -book. I think it was too humorous for the theme of the book, so I went to local technology park and took some photos of tall/business buildings. I think the building on the right is the tallest building in Kuopio. Falling character is the same as in original ‘Terminal Velocity’ picture. While I was editing I thought that this picture might work also in pure black and white and made a fake long exposure version of it.

Up, Right, Stop!, What?

This one is for the theme ‘picture in picture’. Modifying ‘Peeks‘ idea and played with hands more. Frame is the same frame that was used ‘In Two Halves’. This time I didn’t have to remove the mirror in it, just photographed it on the wall.

Dog in the Studio

First time photographing dogs in studio. They are a bit harder to guide than humans. Well I’m not very good at guiding models anyway. One of the reasons I have so many selfies, I guess. Pretty basic light, softbox at the front and bare flash with the reflector at the side/back.